Negative, pessimistic and very grumpy

 

Crédits photographiques Karim Hobeika

 

 

Source : http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-single/201410/...

 

1. If you feel too relaxed and happy and dreamy, you may not be all that motivated to get things done. As the Atlantic paraphrased one of Oettigen's points, "a cheery disposition and good attitude can zap the motivation needed to mobilize and strategize….dreaming isn't doing."
   
   
2. An excerpt from Kashdan and Biswas-Diener's book, published in New York magazine, was aptly titled, "Grumpy People Get the Details Right." As the authors noted, "Negative emotions like anxiety and suspiciousness can act like an attentional funnel that narrows the mind's eye to important details."
   
   
3. They also pointed to research showing that "people prone to depressed moods also tend to notice more details," particularly in facial expressions. Julie Lane and I found something similar in a pair of studies we produced, showing that mildly depressed people were especially sensitive to false reassurances and phoniness. Sometimes happy people are more easily fooled.
   
   
4. Maybe we should not be trying too hard to be all smiley-faced ourselves. As Kashdan and Biswas-Diener noted, "A furrowed brow or frown warns people off when you aren't in the mood (and sometimes you're not in the mood)."
   
   
5. A New York Times story on The Upside of Your Dark Side referenced research by Rebecca Mitchell on the upside of negative feelings in the workplace: "[A] little bit of negativity at work can keep people from agreeing too quickly and instead encourage them to focus on getting it right."
   
   
6. In her book, Norem explains what's so good about a style she calls defensive pessimism. If that's your approach, you tend to imagine worst-case scenarios when you have something important in the works (such as a paper or a presentation). How is that a good thing? If it motivates you to think of the many specific things that could go wrong, then take steps to avoid them. People who do that "end up performing better than if they didn't use the strategy." (Want to know if you are a defensive pessimist? Take this test.)
   
   
7. Romantic love is the subject of lots of syrupy odes, but it may not be such a great thing when it comes to knowing when someone is lying to you. In fact, sometimes perfect strangers are better at knowing when someone is lying than that person's romantic partner is.